June of epic proportion.

So I shared during sunday's session, I hope to spend this June fruitfully and with meaning.

I want t fill it with activities, and perhaps think more thoroughly about what I should pursue in U.
Been contemplating about these: Eng Lang, Eng Lit, Socio, Psych (+Philo) and Geog.

To be really frank, I am hoping for some sort of divine sign. ( Smirk all you want >:b )
I believe in fate, in destiny.
I don't believe in coincidence.
Not to be confused with a passive faith though.
I take risks, I do dares.
There is choice in one's destiny -- life's greatest paradox.

So I decided to include geography again despite it having failed me (and I like to think it this way, not the converse) every major exam -_- tsk I h8 being second best, but always, always at the crucial assessments it fails me pfft (HAHAH freaken ego) and I grieve.

Teaching the subject, of course I realised how skimpy my knowledge of it was (but that's normal) and how I really wanted to be physically there in those places that I show to the kids.

I wna take pictures with The 12 Apostles and The Stonehenge, stand on the cliffs of the Great Canyon and see meanders in shades of pretty jade green and blue, dive into the deep of the Great Blue Hole in Belize, to see for myself the birth of new earth flowing ever so slowly on the islands of Hawaii, and especially, to be in awe as I reside in the quiet of Alaska and marvel at Auroras in the night sky.

And if I do well enough, I just might.

I also want to write.
I want to write stories for us and express as much and as lucid as my abilities allow me to.

I want to invent and reinvent ideas.

I want to create stories from stories and to make new ones which I can call my own.

I want to have a pseudonym and cross boundaries, blur them, personalise them and defeat them.

Like as I've been attempting.

And if I do well enough, I just might.

And sports, my gosh.
I always wanted to be an athlete. \m/
Remembered I wanted to enroll into the SSS when they were first established and I was p6, how opportune! Somehow, and I forget now, the trials were over, I missed them and life went on.
How I admire athletes, people who dedicate their time to trainings, honing their craft and striving for perfection.

To be an athlete, I would've led a different life most definitely.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be (implication of fate here), and I was schooled just like any other.

Yet if I try hard enough...
I've been running a lot lately, since the end of Trug ( strangely {: ), and like I've mentioned, it's almost therapeutic, it makes me know I still exist-- and I don't need to be understood on this point.

And, yknow how marathons are races built for runners who start training at my age now.

And I google-d about this so I am being really serious. (HAHA)
So well, and I'm just saying, If I do well enough, I just might.

Why why, then there is the intrigue of psychology and sociology, of which the differences b/w them are unknown to me, which interests me a great deal.
So in general- Studying Homo Sapiens, I like <:

And I don't want to settle for the title of 'School Councillor', I want to be reading minds and doing real shyt aka The Mentalist.
Freaken hell, who knows, I just might. (HAHA)

Well, I'm really in the interim before the larger stages of my life and the potential that I know is there is so very huge, it astounds me.

I am almost intimidated.
And Plath writes it well,

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.

From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.

One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

Hence me thinks, this June, will be a June of epic proportion.
Of bewildering divine intervention and incidents the size of cosmic collisions.
This June, I shall risk all, observe intently, savour every experience and feel everything--
and see where that leads me.
HAHAHAHAHA. Seems like final words to me.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6