NTU Eng Lit Interview.

"I don't actually like books."
Or something along that line, and I know I should have taken it back.
But I couldn't, it just spilled out of my throat.
As though they'd been hiding in a dark corner for awhile now and were anxious to leave.

Hi there, if you were just reading that^
Yes, I said that to my interviewer for my freaken ENG LIT interview.
I think I might have screwed up.
Why, firstly I took 179 down to NTU and I got off the bus like 3 stops earlier.
And 3 stops there is from Punggol to CCK fyi.
And it was just 15 mins to 1pm.
So got off, and boarded the bus again, after being allowed to tag with these 2 students of the school, who very kindly helped me along my way to the School of HSS.

Sat for the writing test in a meeting room filled with about 9 other girls.
2 questions posed: First was to write about a significant work of literature or film which you are familiar with and to consider its importance. 2nd was the usual analysing of a short poem- of which I don't even remember the title now because the moment I read that question, I erased it from the sheet of orange paper I was staring at.
Like who in the worrrrrrrld would do that :\
Obviously I wrote about Dorian Gray blahblahblah.

Waited, then this girl was called and like 1min later, this caucasian man came calling for my name.
He introduces himself as Bede.
Of course, I didn't know how it was spelled at first and I went "Sorry?"
He repeated his name and I repeated after him. "Beat?" "Bead."
"Okay, bead."

Sat down in his neat and dim office room and boy did it look 'intellectual' and so very bibliophilistic. Shelves of books and more books on his table.
Nice, I thought.
He had the full-panel windows in his room too, covered by these translucent blinds and so one could have the full view of the sky, though deceiving in colour.
"So, you liked his work?"
"Yes, very much."
"You read this during your spare time then?"
"Yes I did."
Starts asking about what I studied for lit and whether I liked them.
"Liked Plath's and Shakespeare's works but not so Austen's P&P."
"Why?"
"Hmm, it was boring."
And at that precise moment I mouthed that B word, I was like, geez, THAT ITSELF IS BORING. (I.Phail)
AND THEN.

"So what other books do you read?"
I paused, my eyes wandered aimlessly amongst the clouds behind him and managed a smirk.
A smirk says a lot of things. A lot.
So from then on, my apparent lack of substance was exposed to my future lecturer.
Here was a literature student who've only read Wilde's and Plath's works and nothing else, but wants to enroll into English freaken Literature in Uni.
Who is she kidding??

Knowing that I'd pretty much tarnish the good impression he might have had of me,
Yours Truly decide to even soak it in mud.
"So you know this is a 4 years course, so there will be a lot of reading to do.
Do you like reading?"
"Hmmm. *Looks at him directly. Yes, I can read."
(What in the world were you thinking Suning.K???)
"You CAN read??"
...

BUT, I tried explaining myself to him.
How it was a personal distaste, how I even told him I think I am going astray with my own answer and I sound like I'm being contradictory and that it was the whole notion of books that I didn't like.
"We are interested in your enthusiasm for this course, you see."
"Oh I know, but its just... It doesn't affect my enthusiasm for this course. I want this."
(Like how does that even work huh. Quoting Ana, It's like going for a business interview and saying yeahhh, but I don't really like finance y'know HA HA)
And even now darling, I can't quite explain accurately how my brain works.
So blahblahblah, I think at the back of his mind, he must think I'm insane.
And then I can just imagine him going to his colleagues at the very end of the last interview and saying "Hey, guess what?! The first girl I interviewed... Y'know what she said..."
And they would all laugh so hard they roll on the carpeted floor with blushing cheeks and snorting and making this their joke of the day, re-telling it to the other professors in the other departments and how I would then become Legend. \m/

"Okay, so you should be expecting a call from us around May, TYVM."
"Alright, TY."
When I passed the meeting room on the way out, it all felt a little surreal.
I saw the rest still chatting in there and zomg, they wouldn't be nervous at all if they knew what a flop I was right.
I smiled to myself for a long, long time.
Btw, Bede was pretty hawt.
I think its the facial hair hahaha oh and he's google-ble I realised.
Eunz was interviewed by the Head though, the freaken Head, sure accepted.

NUS FASS Please call me, please.
I think I've only like a 30% chance of getting this place.

But seriously, at the end of it all, I think about it and No, I don't regret anything I did or didn't do.
I can't fake my way through, rather I can't pretend I'm in love with books when they're such dangerous and rarely touched things to me.
Reading and books are different things right? Right.
Does that explain why I'm a really slow reader as well.
Alright, I should craft a better POV for myself on books, starting now.
Impressions matter, and you should've known better.